Inner Critic Hall of Fame: Miss Originality

    

Miss Originality Doll 

Name: Miss Originality

Wanted For: Being possessive, judgmental, snide, and suspicious, not to mention her obsession that everything be utterly original. And have I mentioned her aversion to repetition or routine?

M.O: Shutting down any idea sparked from someone else. Hoarding ideas, resources, time, and space. Demanding novelty at all costs..."You've made that for dinner before...you can't make it again!"

Classic Lines: 

"Copycat!"

"That's been done before."

"That's wasn't really your idea..."

"Save your best for when you've made it big!"

"Repeating yourself is pathetic--unless you're a toddler or a drooling old geezer"

Evil Plan: Never copy anyone or anything!! Keep anyone from stealing my few, precious original ideas--even if it means locking them away in a tower forever!

Miss Originality is the most recent arrival in the illustrious posse of my Inner Critics. She showed up while I was teaching my last session of Your Creative Life. I was coaching a student through naming and taming her Inner Critic before making an Inner Critic "voodoo doll". During our work, I heard a screechy preachy little Inner Critic voice in my own head. 

I choose not to listen at that time, but I stayed after class and started building my own voodoo doll. Choosing from all the supplies laid out for the workshop, my creation came to life. Miss Originality arrived in her bony skeletal splendor. I hadn't even thought about why I was drawn to making her a skeleton, but upon reflection it made perfect sense.

She's starving because she rejects anything that isn't utterly original and therefore takes in nothing. Feeding only on herself, she is skin and bones!  Once I could hold her and understand her fear, I had so much compassion for her that I actually embraced the doll! Through this exercise I exposed one of the unconscious beliefs that was running my life.

BELIEF: Inspiration from others doesn't count as original. 

This belief was very isolating and acknowledging it very freeing. She still shows up surprisingly and frequently through my day. The difference now, is that she doesn't run my life from the shadows anymore. I acknowledge and validate her fears (You're really worried. You think that if I publish this great blog post, I'll be wasted it because I can never use it in a book). And then I go on with my day and post anyway! 

Want to name and tame your Inner Critic? 

Come do it with Captain Creative in person at my Your Creative Life Class. Click HERE.

Big Bad Inner Critic? If you've got a really ornery Inner Critic, I'd love to help you in person--I specialize in exorcising Inner Critics for coaching clients. Contact me for private Inner Critic wrangling. 

Sample Inner Critic Profile From My Workbook. 

Birthday Blog: The Gift of Receiving

I used to be shy about my birthday.

I've even thrown a few big parties over the years and not told anyone until I brought out the cake. I  worried that people would feel obliged to bring gifts.

I feared it would seem greedy for an adult to do anything but include "no gifts" on a birthday invitation-- which I couldn't bring myself to write because of course I love birthday presents! ( as long as you don't give them out of obligation.)
That all changed last year when one of my mentors and favorite people, the daring and delightful Dr Deb Kern, made a big deal out of her birthday. She held a special Daring Divas dance class, and asked everyone to contribute to the music play list and a group project about visions for her future. 

We started class with a gratitude circle. One by one, over 30 women expressed their thanks for all Dr. Deb had done for them. The air was electric. The gratitude was palpable.

Dr Deb revealed that it made her gut churn to stand and receive so much. This tidal wave of love was triggering limiting beliefs that urged her to turn away from or deflect all that praise: fears of "taking too much","hogging the spotlight", "being self-centered","not deserving it" or just that something terrible would happen to her.

But Dr Deb stood her ground as wave after wave of love crashed around her. She was stretching herself on purpose. She is one wise and empowered woman-- a woman who knows that her ability to succeed is limited only by her ability to receive.


I was so thrilled by her experiment that I immediately started one of my own. As soon as it was my turn to speak, I imagined myself receiving the very appreciation that I was giving to Dr Deb. I did the same with every other gratitude expressed around the circle. I, too, felt the churning in my gut. I, too, heard my Inner Critic (Miss Humility) fear and fret. But I held my ground. I stretched. I continued to let the love in.



Love from my creative wonder twin Donna Klein



I felt so full that I practically beamed through the rest of class. And for the rest of my day, I couldn't help but pour out sincere appreciation to everyone I encountered--from my kids to the guy who carried out my groceries. Miss Humility's lie was officially busted: Receiving love did not steal from others! No! On the contrary, it was the greatest gift I could give the world.

So it's my birthday and I'm not being shy about it this year!

It's my first year to get a wave of facebook birthday wishes--from old friends and new--and I've been holding my ground and opening myself up to receive it all. Thank you everyone!

Your turn: Will you accept the gift of receiving?  If you haven't already, wish me "Happy Birthday" and really hear it for yourself at the same time. Celebrate the day you were born into this world, at the same time that you celebrate the day I was. How does it feel to stretch your capacity to receive?

 Adventure Club: for the whole week, practice receiving every compliment, gratitude, or endearment you utter to another. Acknowledge and reassure any Inner Critics that come up.  "Oh, that's you, Miss Humility, worrying about me being rejected for taking too much. Thanks for your concern, but I've got this one covered. Why don't you take a few days off? Enjoy! You deserve it! I'll let you know if I need you later."

Comment on my blog what it was like, what your Inner Critic said, what you said back, and what happened in your life when you gave yourself the gift of receiving.

oh, and Happy Birthday to you!

Demon In the Dark

Demon
demon
in my head
Leave me alone!
Get outta my bed!

I could sleep
in peace
but you come
in war
slithering darkly
'cross my floor.

I'm tired. I'm wired.
panic is coursing through my veins.
my heart is gripped by primal fear
of what? --it's not exactly clear.
but no matter!
the impending doom is real,
or so urges your incessant chatter.

How does my Inner Hero
sleep so sound?!
She should know by now
It's nighttime that I need
my bodyguard in town.

I'm sick of this--Enough!

I'll have to handle this myself.
groping through the darkness
for my notepad on the shelf.

my pencil scratching,
the only sound
my heart already
begins to pound
more slowly.
can't see a thing,
but the words are there.

demon boy has retreated to the chair.