Birthday Blog: The Gift of Receiving

I used to be shy about my birthday.

I've even thrown a few big parties over the years and not told anyone until I brought out the cake. I  worried that people would feel obliged to bring gifts.

I feared it would seem greedy for an adult to do anything but include "no gifts" on a birthday invitation-- which I couldn't bring myself to write because of course I love birthday presents! ( as long as you don't give them out of obligation.)
That all changed last year when one of my mentors and favorite people, the daring and delightful Dr Deb Kern, made a big deal out of her birthday. She held a special Daring Divas dance class, and asked everyone to contribute to the music play list and a group project about visions for her future. 

We started class with a gratitude circle. One by one, over 30 women expressed their thanks for all Dr. Deb had done for them. The air was electric. The gratitude was palpable.

Dr Deb revealed that it made her gut churn to stand and receive so much. This tidal wave of love was triggering limiting beliefs that urged her to turn away from or deflect all that praise: fears of "taking too much","hogging the spotlight", "being self-centered","not deserving it" or just that something terrible would happen to her.

But Dr Deb stood her ground as wave after wave of love crashed around her. She was stretching herself on purpose. She is one wise and empowered woman-- a woman who knows that her ability to succeed is limited only by her ability to receive.


I was so thrilled by her experiment that I immediately started one of my own. As soon as it was my turn to speak, I imagined myself receiving the very appreciation that I was giving to Dr Deb. I did the same with every other gratitude expressed around the circle. I, too, felt the churning in my gut. I, too, heard my Inner Critic (Miss Humility) fear and fret. But I held my ground. I stretched. I continued to let the love in.



Love from my creative wonder twin Donna Klein



I felt so full that I practically beamed through the rest of class. And for the rest of my day, I couldn't help but pour out sincere appreciation to everyone I encountered--from my kids to the guy who carried out my groceries. Miss Humility's lie was officially busted: Receiving love did not steal from others! No! On the contrary, it was the greatest gift I could give the world.

So it's my birthday and I'm not being shy about it this year!

It's my first year to get a wave of facebook birthday wishes--from old friends and new--and I've been holding my ground and opening myself up to receive it all. Thank you everyone!

Your turn: Will you accept the gift of receiving?  If you haven't already, wish me "Happy Birthday" and really hear it for yourself at the same time. Celebrate the day you were born into this world, at the same time that you celebrate the day I was. How does it feel to stretch your capacity to receive?

 Adventure Club: for the whole week, practice receiving every compliment, gratitude, or endearment you utter to another. Acknowledge and reassure any Inner Critics that come up.  "Oh, that's you, Miss Humility, worrying about me being rejected for taking too much. Thanks for your concern, but I've got this one covered. Why don't you take a few days off? Enjoy! You deserve it! I'll let you know if I need you later."

Comment on my blog what it was like, what your Inner Critic said, what you said back, and what happened in your life when you gave yourself the gift of receiving.

oh, and Happy Birthday to you!

A Valentine to Myself

A Valentine to myself.... I love the way you turn your angst into art!
I love that you start your Saturdays with Yoga.
I LOVE that you finally got blue highlights-so FUN!

I love that you spontaneously wrote this newsletter!

I love that you wrote valentines (like this) to your kids!

I love that you're knitting a blue scarf to match your hair.

I LOVE your courage, your fierceness and your boldness

I also LOVE your softness, your quietness and your shyness.

I love that you keep thinking, noticing, feeling and learning.

I love that you've found and made friends that love you and lift you high.
I love that you keep at things that matter to you, even when it gets hard.
I love that you journal every damn day! It's not true that you're inconsistent!

I love that you figured out how to make exercise a natural, easy part of your life.

I love the way you can dress up on a dime and wear peacock feathers in your hair!

I love that you make the bed in the morning and create a little oasis of order in your life.
I love that you clear you desk off and leave your studio clean and ready for play. (most days)

I love that you are willing to examine and un-collapse your beliefs, judgements, and assumptions.
I love your mango, and papaya colored sheets and bedding! They make me happy every single day.   

love, me

Homework:
Now write yourself a Valentine! Set a timer for :15 minutes and just keep writing until it rings. easy-peasy!

Extra Credit:

Start your journal each day this week with a mini-Valentine to yourself.

Hint: If you're having trouble, write a valentine to a loved one first, to get the love juices flowing. If If you're still having trouble with a self-love valentine, imagine your loved one writing one to you! If your Inner Critic* still won't get out of the way, visit my website for a free workbook download that can help: Summon Your Inner Hero, Outwit Your Inner Critic and Get up to your Greatness!--click on the picture of Captain Creative in the right hand column and you can instantly download a fun and effective way to name and tame that pesky little Inner Critic*.

 *Who's your Inner Critic? -Just the the voice inside your head saying "it's vain and conceited to say anything positive about yourself"... "I would love you if only you __(fill in the blank)," blah blah, blah.....BLAH! You know, that voice?